What is a Highly Sensitive Person?
According to research...
Welcome to the first official post of the Highly Sensitive Person Club (or HSP Club for short).
Perhaps you know what a highly sensitive person (HSP) is—most likely because you are one or are close to one. But maybe you’ve never heard of an HSP before. Instead, what you have heard before, probably for your entire life, are phrases like this:
you’re so sensitive or stop being so sensitive
relax
you take everything so seriously
it’s not a big deal
it’s just a movie, none of it’s real
it was only a joke
you care too much
you’re too kind
While being called too kind certainly shouldn’t be a diss, these phrases are often said negatively, implying something is wrong with you, dismissing your feelings and leaving you feeling less than normal.
When an HSP confronts the person who gave the passively negative comment, they’re often met with a shrug of the shoulders and once again told to relax.
So, what is a highly sensitive person?
The term “highly sensitive person” comes from Dr. Elaine Aron’s research. It’s estimated up to 20% of the population are HSPs, and crosses over into more than 100 species. Being an HSP is not associated with any particular gender.
A highly sensitive person has what’s called Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS), a personality trait characterized by a heightened sensitivity to external stimuli and the ability to process sensory information at a deeper level. There can be a genetic component to being an HSP, which includes how the nervous system and brain process sensory input.
This list isn’t exhaustive, but common traits among HSPs are as follows:
A heightened sensitivity to external stimuli, which may include loud noises, smells, bright lights, the weather or even textures.
Deep emotional responsiveness and empathy.
Feeling overwhelmed or shutting down in high-stimulant environments.
Strong emotional reactions to both positive and negative experiences.
Needing downtime to recharge after social interactions or things like travel (while this is also an introverted trait, extroverts can be HSPs, too).
Feeling deeply affected by others' moods and emotions (including being unable to watch violent movies and TV).
Preferring meaningful conversations and relationships.
Highly conscientious and detail-oriented (possibly a perfectionist).
Having a creative and rich inner life, including being deeply affected by things like art, nature and music.
Being easily startled.
Take the test
If any of the above sounds like you, you might be an HSP.
Dr. Elaine Aron has developed a free test you can take online here.
Are highly sensitive people neurodivergent?
I am not an expert in neurodivergence, though I had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. David Worling about autism in the workplace. However, while HSPs may have brains that process stimuli differently from the norm (meaning processing more stimuli than the average), it's important to distinguish between being highly sensitive and being neurodivergent. Neurodivergence typically refers to conditions such as autism, ADHD or dyslexia. While some research suggests that HSPs could be considered neurodivergent, the term’s usage is still debated and not universally agreed upon.
It’s also important to remember that being an HSP—having Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS)—is different from having Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). SPS is a trait, whereas SPD is a neurological disorder. You can read more on this clarification here.
What does this mean for me?
If you mean, what does this mean for me, a highly sensitive person?, I hope this information is nothing but helpful and that learning more about yourself alleviates stress so you can thrive in a world full of stimulation.
When I discovered there was a scientific term for being sensitive, it felt like the universe had granted me clemency and the ability to stand a little bit more confidently in a part of me that always felt like a failure.
For the first time in my life, I felt normal and understood, which gave me a greater understanding of how to cope and thrive, rather than experiencing constant burnout and facing inner (and even outer) rejection.
If I’m being honest, I still struggle with burnout—in seasons, on the daily—but I’m getting better at setting boundaries for myself and prioritizing my health.
Discovering my trait as an HSP has allowed me to be a better human (a less stressed-out/passively angry one). It’s also helped me understand my strengths and weaknesses as a parent and the support I need to keep myself and my children healthy (more on this later). I’m still discovering how it impacts me in relationships, which I hope to explore with you.
It’s been a journey of self-discovery, and for the first time, I've begun to give some of that freely given empathy for others to myself.
These first two posts are an introduction to this series. The rest will dive deeper into the topic of being a highly sensitive person (including coping tips and other things I’ve learned).
I’m both excited and nervous to share these things. Excited because I nerd out about things like feelings and connection, but nervous because as someone who has always been a big encourager of vulnerability, it’s only been recently I’ve started to struggle with being vulnerable myself. But I’m here to learn and grow.
I am not an expert in any of this other than what I’ve discovered through my own lived experiences, which may or may not also apply to you.
Maybe this is the first time you’re exploring your own sensitivity. I hope we can learn together and remind ourselves that we’re not alone. Vulnerability can feel like navigating uncharted waters, but there’s a whole network of people waiting to surround you and help you grow.
I hope this can be the start of a beautiful journey for all of us.
I welcome your comments and look forward to getting to know each of you. Thank you again for being here and willing to engage in this topic of sensitivity.