Here's what's new...

and why I've been a little quiet lately.

Photo by Robert Schrader

Hi!

It’s been a while.

I’d like to say I’m sorry, but I’m not.

The truth is, life has been busy, life has been complex.

As many of you know, I’m in the middle of my master’s program (well, actually, about a third of the way through). My grandfather-in-law also passed away a few weeks ago, and he was an instrumental force in my decision to pursue graduate school (notably, he was a retired professor himself). And, well, I’ve been trying to figure out what I want this space to be.

In the past, my blogs have always served as semi-diaries, but the reality is, my life isn’t all that interesting. I work, I parent, I write papers, I read books, I enjoy cooking (when I have time). Recently, I made shakshuka, and I’m still drooling over it, weeks later. My yoga practice hasn’t been nearly as consistent as I want it to be. See? I’m a fairly regular human being, though sometimes, I think there’s a bit too much melancholy up in my brain.

As I move forward, I’m beginning to see how my academic journey can be a deeper part of who I am. In undergrad, you’re often required to take courses you don’t care about, but in graduate school, nearly everything you study is something you’ve chosen and want to study. For the first time, I feel a sense of unification as my interests and career merge in a way that allows me to explore meaning, belonging and identity (beyond working as a photographer). And that’s really exciting. I’ve always thought of myself as a daydreamer, and maybe that’s true, but in the academic world, I can call myself a researcher, which makes me feel a lot more productive with my time.

Right now, I’m studying mourning and trauma with Dr. Linita Mathew, and I’ve realized I quite enjoy studying grief. It turns out the melancholy in my brain isn’t just a personal trait but something I can examine, expand upon, and, hopefully, contribute knowledge to one day.

I’m also exploring meaning, belonging and identity as tools for resisting oppression. As a dual citizen with family in both Canada and the U.S., I find the political downfall of the U.S. (and its threat to Canada) deeply discouraging. But I find solace in my studies, especially late at night, when I remind myself that even when I feel helpless in the face of adversity, I’m still doing something. Resistance may be slow, but I’m learning how narratives can be repositioned into ones of strength. The more we interrogate the self, the better we align politically with humanity.

So, while I haven’t been writing much on HumanKind lately, I have been writing—writing and writing until I can’t write anymore and I fall asleep. I’ve been developing an idea for my final thesis, and things are slowly coming together. I’ve also paused all paid subscriptions, which, by the way, THANK YOU. Your support has meant so much, but since I can’t guarantee consistent content right now, I’d feel awful letting you continue paying. Until I find a more regular way to post and share the kind of content I truly want to, I’ll keep the paid subscription feature off.

Instead, I hope to start sharing more about what I’m learning in grad school. I think it’ll be good practice, too—taking my academic writing and making it a little less academic and a little more real-world, if that makes sense.

Again, thank you for being here.

(If you’d like to read a bit more about my academic journey, you can do so here.)